Uncooked Cards

The year was 2004. We were young and giddy and our bodies reeked of cod. We had just squeezed into our big sexy bathing suits to air ourselves out when suddenly the most glorious idea popped into our heads. uncooked cards! we eagerly jammed handfuls of jelly worms down our throats and began creating the most honest, most absurd, most strangest, sweetest line of greeting cards the world would ever know. Today, uncooked cards can be found in many stores around the world. With over 100 cards in the line, uncooked covers all areas of life- birthday cards, love cards, friendship cards, miss you cards, sorry cards, thank you cards, feel better cards, anniversary cards and of course, funny holiday cards. You can buy them online at uncookedlandthestore.com
Plans to develop your brand in 2009? After absolutely no research, we successfully determined Uncooked Cards would be a no brainer along the European countryside and parts of Japan. We carefully hand selected a team of untrained specialists to help us develop a machine that will project our cards onto all blank objects in these regions and charge peoples credit cards if they try to read it. It’s a pyramid scheme without the pyramid.
What makes uncooked cards so different? They’re 110% recyclable, made entirely of ground up elephant tusks and packaged in a clear sleeve composed of the thin inner lining of reproductively challenged whale uteri. Our specialty inks are derived from the delicate tears of pre pubescent bald eagles that answer to the name 'Victor' Also, they’re just funny.
Anything else? We like to feel each other up over our shirts while watching the last crucial minutes of Deal or No Deal.